


Just Hold Me Close, Don't Patronize

by Choi_Aya05



Series: -2000 [2]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Unrequited Love, letting go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:20:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Choi_Aya05/pseuds/Choi_Aya05
Summary: Tonight, Jae would love Brian. Tomorrow, he would give up on him.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Mentioned Baek Ahyeon/Kang Younghyun | Young K
Series: -2000 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841881
Kudos: 12
Collections: Day6 OTPs





	Just Hold Me Close, Don't Patronize

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from the very fic's inspiration: I Can’t Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt (https://youtu.be/nW9Cu6GYqxo) but I heard Dave Thomas Junior's version first (https://youtu.be/FteIC0nG76k).

_'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_

_You can't make your heart feel something it won't_

_Here in the dark, in these final hours_

_I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power_

_But you won't, no you won't_

  
_(I Can’t Make You Love Me — Bonnie Raitt)_

Jae loved Brian. He loved him as an individual. They had a rocky start, but they had grown out of it. Brian became a great friend, an admirable teammate, a partner in crime.

But it wasn't just that.

Jae was _in love_ with Brian.

He didn't know how or when, as cliche as it might be. He just was. Maybe he had always been, which would explain his lack of answers.

Jae loved Brian.

He loved Brian's morning voice. He loved Brian's cooking. He loved the way Brian's mind worked. He loved Brian's wit and humor. He loved the way Brian cared.

He loved him. But he knew he could never have him; not when Brian loved Ayeon the way Jae loved him.

When Jae would marvel at Brian's beautiful soul, so would Brian to Ayeon. When he would laugh extra hard at Brian's jokes, so would Brian to Ayeon. When he would spend sleepless nights thinking about Brian, he knew that Brian was doing the same with Ayeon.

And so would Ayeon to Brian.

It was what broke him the most: Brian loved Ayeon and Ayeon loved him back.

Ayeon received the love Jae craved to have.

Craved, longed for, prayed for, _would die for_. So desperately, so pathetically.

Jae was a fool. He knew he should've given up long, long ago, but seeing Brian go down on one knee for Ayeon had to be the wake up call. It felt like a slap, like a sudden bucket of ice water was poured over him. His throat was clogged and he was suffocating and his eyes were stinging and _he had to get away_.

Honestly, he wasn't sure what he was expecting or if he was expecting anything at all. Was he hoping Brian would break up with Ayeon over the course of their relationship? No, of course not!

He had been a witness to Brian gushing over her. He was there when Brian had agonized over every little interaction, trying to read between the lines. He was there when Brian had finally confessed, was there to see their love grow and blossom into something pure and beautiful. Jae knew how much of a fool he was for her.

But did he want Brian to be his? _Yes_.

The tears didn't register, not until the bed was dipping and Brian was asking if he was okay. And Jae couldn't find it in himself to come up with another lie, tired of making excuses after years of doing so.

Instead he let his heart talk, let his tears communicate.

He sobbed and sobbed, wailed to his heart's content but he wasn't content. He would never be content. He had to be, he should be. He would be, perhaps in the future, but not in the moment. Not when salt just got poured over the wound that never really healed. Years of pining, of watching from afar, of frustrations, of _pain_.

Jae didn't hold back.

He felt hands tenderly pulling him against a strong, firm chest. It wasn't the first time Brian had hugged him, and it wouldn't be the last. But that night was different. Because Jae had decided.

Tomorrow, he would stop loving Brian.

Because Brian would never be his. Brian could never force himself to love him. And even if he tried, Jae wouldn't let him. He didn't even believe that to be possible.

Jae couldn't make Brian love him. But tonight, for just one night, Jae rested his head on Brian's chest. He listened to the heart that beat for someone else, letting himself be a fool for the last time and imagine it beat solely for him. Not Ayeon. Tonight, Brian's heart beat for Jae.

But Brian didn't know that. He wouldn't ever. Just as how he would never know how much Jae treasured each memories they shared, how much Jae held onto ever piece of him that he allowed Jae to have. The shoulder to cry on, the hand to guide him, the voice to ground him.

Jae held onto them, would do so for as long as he lived, but tomorrow onwards he would stop depending on them.

He would stop leaning on Brian when his bones felt heavy. He would stop waiting for Brian's hand when he felt lost. He would stop picking Brian's voice out of the loudness of his thoughts. He would stop.

Jae would stop.

But not tonight.

He snuggled further in Brian's embrace and felt those protective arms hold him closer, like Brian was trying to keep Jae's pieces together.

_Not tonight._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on a roll, wow. I wrote this under 30 mins. 'cause damn 2am be giving me the feels.
> 
> WHY DO I KEEP WRITING ANGST PARKIAN HAD LITERALLY JUST PROVIDED A CUTE CONTENT I--


End file.
